Zig Ziglar Shares His Wisdom

Enjoy this fundamental wisdom I received from Zig at a recent conference. If the rest of the world followed this advice, it would be a much better world!

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Step Up Your Leadership: Give the gift of great feedback

I have adopted a great belief from my husband; “feedback is the breakfast of champions”.  At first, I didn’t “get it”, but I have learned that receiving feedback is a powerful gift for personal and professional growth and that giving feedback effectively, makes for more effective leadership and is key to powerful working relationships.

I did not always share this perspective. For many years I didn’t fully understand or appreciate this point of view because for me, feedback (a.k.a. criticism) was something I dreaded and avoided. I didn’t want to hear it and I definitely didn’t want to give it. However, I am pleased to report that I have moved from being a feedback avoider to recently being crowned the “Feedback Queen”.

Having benefited from giving and receiving powerful feedback, I now enjoy coaching leaders to do the same. The results are remarkable! These leaders experience less stress and conflict, their teams are more productive, their company morale strengthens, and their relationships at home with their spouse and children improve dramatically. Given the huge difference effective feedback can make, and given how often this issue comes up, it makes sense to share the secrets of effective feedback with you now…

Give feedback about behaviour, not your judgment of it

This is the first and most important consideration that makes or breaks effective feedback delivery. Often our decision to give feedback is triggered by feelings of anger, frustration, hurt or annoyance we feel towards another person. These feelings are triggered when someone does something and we judge or interpret the actions negatively. We make up a story about what the other person’s behaviour means and we react to it with defensiveness, annoyance, anger or even sarcasm. Giving effective feedback relies on our ability to separate the other person’s actions (facts) from our story (judgment) of the facts. With this clarity, our own heated emotions usually dissipate and we are better prepared to give effective feedback.

Decide when to give feedback

Give feedback any time someone says or does something that affects you, positively or negatively. Most of us avoid giving feedback and hate receiving it because it’s only offered when something negative happens. A great way to learn effective feedback delivery is to practice giving it during the good times! When your staff member says or does something that makes a difference in your day (i.e. takes initiative to send out some billings so you don’t have to), give feedback (according the steps listed below). Tell that person what a difference his actions made for you.

Use feedback to create mutual understanding

Giving effective feedback is not about seeking agreement from another person, it’s about helping someone hear what we have to say without him defending himself, dismissing the information or making a counter-attack. Our emphasis is on understanding each other better. Remember, we all wander around the world, experiencing it from our own perspective. We forget that we all have different and unique ways of experiencing situations and events. Giving feedback helps others see better how their words and actions affect the people around them, which uncovers blind spots and helps them decide whether or not they want to change their behaviour.

Steps for being a feedback Queen (or King):

Step 1: Ask permission

No matter what your relationship is with the feedback recipient, sincerely ask if you may, “offer and idea”, “thank you for something” or “clear an issue”. Asking permission demonstrates respect for the other person and paves the way for their openness to hearing what you have to say.

Step 2: Share your intention for the feedback

Why are you offering this feedback?  Is your intention to strengthen the relationship? Do you need to get an issue off your chest that is holding you back from doing business with this person? Do you want to help someone improve his performance? Being clear about our intention, and sharing this, increases
our chances us success and continues to keep the recipient open to hearing it.

Step 3: Describe the facts

Facts are words said and/or behaviours demonstrated (not our judgment of them). Spoken and written words that can be quoted are facts. Actions that could be videotaped are facts (i.e. when you sent the invoicing out without being asked). Describing the facts of the situation helps the recipient understand specifically and clearly what the feedback is referring to. By eliminating our judgment of the facts, emotion is removed and we reduce the likelihood of provoking defensiveness.

Step 4: Describe your feelings or story about the facts

Explain how the other person’s words or actions affected you or the story or judgment you made up about their behaviour. It’s important to stay accountable, take ownership and use I-language (this will help decrease defensiveness and maintain receptivity in the listener). For example, we might say to a business partner, “when you told me the other day that you made this decision without talking to me, I felt disregarded. Making these kinds of decisions without me feels disrespectful and does not feel collaborative to me”.  The recipient of this feedback might not like hearing it, but chances are he will be more open to hearing the message and willing to stay engaged to solve the problem.

Are you ready to step up your leadership?

Feedback is a tremendous gift we can learn to give others. Creativity, connection, collaboration, productivity, innovation, and problem solving all improve when companies give and seek out meaningful feedback. And these improvements foster accelerated progress in business and in life. I challenge you to become the Feedback Queen or King in your business!

To Step Up your leadership abilities, call Laura Watson at: 877-669-8684 for a free coaching consult. You can also email her: Laura@VentureCoaching.ca



Laura Watson, ACC, MSW is President of Venture Coaching Inc., and was a finalist for the 2010 Canadian Coach of the Year Award. Venture Coaching provides Business Coaching , and Life and Leadership coaching programs to entrepreneurs so they create success without sacrifice! Venture Coaching provides the tools, process and support to accelerate your business and personal growth.

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Help Me Help My Clients

My clients and the work they are doing is very important to me! I believe in my clients and I love being able to play a small part in helping them be successful!

Jennifer Chipperfield is an amazing photographer and artist. She has a unique gift for seeing the essence of her clients and drawing this out through the artistic portraiture she creates. Her work is emotional and breath-taking!

We have a chance to help Jennifer raise awareness of her amazing work by voting for her image in a magazine cover contest.

Please click on the link below to see a prime example of Jennifer's work and then vote.

Vote for my client's entry in the 2010 Professional Photographer Magazine Cover Contest

You can learn more about Jennifer and see more of her work on her own website at: http://www.chipperfieldphotography.com

Thanks for helping me help an amazing woman and gifted artist!

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Join the March to 1000 Referrals Initiative!

This past week, my business coaching sessions have focused on what we can do to build our businesses. Everyone seems to have a bit of Spring Fever and seems raring to go!

Everyone I met with wants to build alliances, and get referrals.

Well, folks, you gotta be willing to give if you want to get.  So, I decided to make it easy for all of us to pass along referrals. Join us in the March to 1000 Referrals Initiative!

This is the place to publicly demonstrate your commitment to the small business referral program!

Here’s how you can participate:

1) Click on the "Comment" tab below this post.

2) In the pop-up box, enter your referral with a brief description of why this person or company is so great. Be sure to add the full URL (http://www......) of the business so others can easily learn more about the business you referred. 

3) Sign your post with your own name and business URL so people can check out your company too!

4) Click on the "Share It" icon and forward this opportunity to your friends and colleagues.
 
5) Click on the "Subscribe" icon to receive automatic updates of all the referrals people make!

Have fun and I'll keep you posted on our progress. (wouldn't it be great to exceed 1000!)

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8 Easy Twitter Monitoring Ideas | Social Media Examiner

I'm always looking for information and tools to help business owners accelerate their success!

Click on the link below to learn how to monitor what the world is saying about you and your business.

Have Fun! Laura

8 Easy Twitter Monitoring Ideas | Social Media Examiner

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Are You Being Effective?

When my daughter was 3 years old, her personality and individuality really started to shine. This is a nice way of saying that she didn’t always want to do what I wanted her do and we were power struggling with each other. Said most accountably, however, I must admit that I was one who was power struggling, she was just being 3 years old.

One day, during one of our power struggles, I had a moment I will never forget. I was trying to make my daughter do something (I can’t even remember what) and suddenly I heard my father’s tone and words coming out of my mouth. I stopped cold. What a flashback! I couldn’t believe what just happened. I sounded just like my father. I knew I was not parenting effectively in this moment and I knew that over time, power struggling was not going to be a long-term effective strategy. I realized I needed to do something different.

This “aha” moment was the catalyst that helped me find the book that changed my life. While browsing the library shelves shortly after my epiphany, I stumbled across Parent Effectiveness Training, by Dr. Thomas Gordon. The title resonated with me because I knew I wanted to be a more effective parent. Little did I realize this book, combined with conscious, consistent application of its tools and skills would transform my parenting, my marriage, my career and help me be a better, more effective person.

Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.) and its business counter-part Leader Effectiveness Training (L.E.T.) points out how we inadvertently create roadblocks in our communication, which sabotage the effectiveness of our relationships. Once we see the roadblocks we are using and how ineffective they are (I was using 8 out of 12 of them), these books teach us what to do different. These books illustrate the skills to create happy, healthy, effective relationships at home and at the office!

I liked this book so much, that 1 week after reading it I enrolled in a certification program so I could teach it. Since then, I have taught hundreds of parents how to use the skills and I consciously practice the skills every day with my family and clients. The skills work! My marriage is happier, my relationship with my children is strong and my children have effective communication skills—no more power struggling!

Repeatedly in my business coaching sessions, my clients share the challenges they experience in their relationships with business partners, team members, clients and families. Everyone seems to want to make their relationships more effective, they just don’t know how. So repeatedly I advise my clients to read P.E.T or any one of the spin-off books; Leader Effectiveness Training (L.E.T.), Sales Effectiveness Training (S.E.T.) or Be Your Best. The results can be amazing! Our business and our life can be happier, more effective and more successful when we step up and learn the skills to make it happen.

My daughter is now 13 years old. She has a playful personality and she is a strong, independent thinker. We respect each other, listen to each other and communicate openly. I feel blessed to have such a great relationship with my daughter and I’m thankful that I woke up and put the effort into learning and practicing how to be more effective.

How could your life and business be different if you did the same?

Laura Watson is President of Venture Coaching Inc., and was a finalist for the 2010 Canadian Coach of the Year Award. Venture Coaching provides Business Coaching, Life and Leadership coaching programs to entrepreneurs so they create success without sacrifice! Venture Coaching provides the tools, process and support to accelerate your business and personal growth.

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Introducing Social Media

Are you considering using Social Media to promote yourself and/or your business?

Are you overwhelmed, trying to decide how to keep up with Facebook, Linkedin and Twitter?

Millions of people are using social media and it's easy to jump in, not knowing how to best benefit from the opportunity social media represents.

I recently created and shared this presentation that I hope you will find interesting and helpful.

Introducing Social Media

View more presentations from Venture Coaching.

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